Nobody Had Seen Douglas for Several Days

Jean was there, along with Joan, Jane, Janey, Jan, Janice, Janet, Jeanne, Jeannie, Jo Ann, Jo Anne, Johanna, Joanna, Julianne, and Job. Jo was there, with Josephine, Sue Bob, Sue Joe, Suanne, Suzanne, Susan, Susanna, Diane, Dianna, Dinah, Dina, Deena, Deanne, Deanna, and Deann. Dean and Don came much later, with Pete and Peto, Cassie and Cassandra, Chelsea, Kelsey, and Kelsie.

Robert, Bobby, Bobbie, and Bob showed up on time. Liam, Bill, Billy, Billie, Willy Sue, Will Bob, Wil, and William would not have missed it for the world. John, Jon, Jack, Jacky, Jackie, and The Boy were there. James, Jim, Jimmy, Jimmie Bob, Jimbo, and several girls named Megan, Molly, Danielle, Sara, and Sarah. Who else, you ask? Danny, Slim, Fats, Red, Bean, Prez, 'Trane, Bird, Tain, and Miles--and the other Fats. Sammy, Vinny, Marcia, Toshiro? Yes, I suppose so.

Let's not forget José, José Miguel, José Juan, María José, María Jesús, Maripepa, José María, María del Carmen, María de los Dolores, María de la Concepción, Concha, Conchita, Lola, Lolita, María del Mar, Marisol, Paco, Paquito, Juanmo, Juano, Ñaki, Ignacio, Nacho, Federico, Fede, and Cho. Jean-Pierre, Jean-Claude, and Jean-Jacques were feeling out of place untll they saw Charles, Dominique, and Marie.

At a table by the corner were sitting The Chairman of the Board, The Bronx Bomber, Lady Day, Lady D, Lady Di. LBJ, JFK, MJ, FDR, and JA. JP, JR, JK, FO'H, KK, and others too numerous to name were in attendance. The Duke, The Count, The Baron, The Duchess... Pop, Pops, Poppa, Popeye, Dad, Daddy, Ma, and Nana.


Of the younger generations, Jordan, Britty, Britt, Britney, Brittny, Brittany, several Jasons, Caleb, Zack, Zak, and Zack. The Queen was there, and Queenie too.

I have not yet mentioned a few others: Roi, Roy, LeRoi, Levon; Kirsten, Kristen, Kirstan, Christian, Christanne, Chris, Christopher, Kriss, Christine, Christianna, Krissy, Kitty, Kat, Cat, Cathleen, Kathleen, the other Kathleen, Kate, Kaye, Kay, K., the other Kay, Katie, Katy, Catherine, Katherine, Beth, Betsy, Betty, Liz, Lizzy, Liza, Lisa, Alyssa, Elissa, Elyssa, Lizabeth, Lizbeth, Elizabeth and the other Elizabeth. Bert and Burt were there, of course. But not Bertie or Bertha!

Canines, equines, and felines included Spot, Scout, Harry and Hairy, Baudelaire, Madame Bovary, Man O' the House, Regency, Elmer, Tosh, Empire State, Heavy Breathing, Answer to my Prayers, Heaven Sent, Justine, Acapello, Asterisk, If you expect me to list them all you will be sorely disappointed.

Who am I forgetting? William (the other one) was missing, as well as the other Bill and Fredericka. Someone said they had seen Greg and Craig, but I can't confirm their presence.

Nobody had seen Douglas for several days.