As some of you know, I commute between Lawrence, Kansas and St. Louis, a five hour drive. I do this every weekend. I recently made a list of problems associated with the commute. Problem due either wholly or partly to the fact that I don't really "live" where I work. There were about 12 major problems, several problems I might classify as moderate, and a long list of mere inconveniences. It made me feel both better and worse to make such a list. I realize that I am fully justified in feeling the stress from what I do, so that was a good thing. Also, I realized that I could address or alleviate some of the problems. Simply by ignoring the minor ones, for example. I am not going to worry that I sometimes don't have the exact book I need at every moment, or that half of my Kenneth Koch collection is in a different state. The bad part, of course, was the inevitable self-pity and the realization that I don't have a solution for any of the really major problems.

People always ask how long the drive is, but actually the time lost driving and the tedium associated with it is only ranks a moderate. Loneliness, fragmentation, disorganization, alienation from community, strain on personal relationships, difficulty of adjustment, and fatigue are all much more serious!

Upside: I can read plenty of poetry at night on the weekdays after my 10 hour work days. I can mope for 10 hours a week in the car and thank Bush for the cheap gas I enjoy.

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Got the new Poker in the mail. I also have the Ted Mathys book that Jordan is enthused about. But I left it in St. Louis and haven't read it yet. My first glance at it told me that I should wait, because I was getting that "I wouldn't do it like that" feeling.

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On Wed. look for Jonathan Mayhew, version 4.5. The mature, middle-aged version.