6 may. 2011

How To Be Feminist Man


Ok, that's a little too simplistic. What I mean is that feminism doesn't really need you if your main aim is to prove how feminist you are, to make a spectacle of your guilt or rectitude, or to make women like you or want to sleep with you. Feminists (the female type) don't really like having to placate or take care of the feelings of men who want to be feminists. (Or so I've been told.)

Don't tell women how to be feminists, or that they are too feminist, or not feminists enough. Don't be condescending or dominating. Don't be a "concern troll," rolling out your alleged feminist bona fides in order to then make anti-feminist points. Don't speak for women and treat your contribution as special. Women, especially feminist women, really know how to speak for themselves exceptionally well.

Don't write for other men telling them how to check out women without being too obnoxious. Don't go around trying to prove that there are "good men." Women (surprise!) already know this.

Continue to enjoy your normal manly pursuits. If you like baseball, or bebop music, just enjoy them, even if they are fields dominated by men. You aren't any more or less feminists based on your taste for basketball or Bach. Nor do you have to be interested in things just because you think women are. Who cares?

The main thing is to treat women like you would other human beings. Making an ostensible show about being a feminist means that this is still a novel concept for you. You can speak out on feminist issues, of course, but don't make it about yourself. Encourage and mentor women, the same way you already probably do with men.

Finally, although it may seem obvious, don't sexually insult women just because you think it's safe to do so. Sexually insulting a conservative woman, or a class of conservative women, might seem fine, because those women oppose the feminist agenda. But you are not really hurting those women in particular, but all women. Just don't do it. You don't need to.

Naturally, these are just my opinions. it is my blog, what did you expect? You'll have to figure out an approach that works for you. The two main points are, don't make it about yourself, and don't be a sexist jerk, like many men who claim to be feminists.

1 comentario:

Clarissa dijo...

Brilliant! I took a part of this post for my blog.