Niceness

I've found that if you treat people as though you liked them (as the default position) they will tend to like you a bit more and then you will end up liking them more than you originally did. This makes it easier to give up resentments and minor irritations. Hatred become dislike, dislike becomes toleration, toleration becomes active appreciation.

I accept, too, that others might be operating on a similar principle toward me, and this doesn't bother me in the least. If someone is acting as though they liked me, simply because that is their default position in social relations, then that means that they are willing to overlook my numerous irritating qualities. Courtesy overrides sincerity. In the end, even the insincerity disappears, because you find yourself with genuinely positive feelings. Behavior overrides inner feelings.