I'm not exactly sure what's happening to me. I can't seem to turn the stress switch off, to the point of having acute anxiety just short of panic attacks. I feel simultaneously overworked and lazy, since I am working hard, accomplishing quite a bit, but still not really thinking I'm going to get everything done. I worked today about six hours on my index for my book, beginning around 7:30 a.m. Then the rest of the day just trying not to be anxious. I also worry about money, my daughter doing her homework, the university turning down my promotion, my undergrads telling me they don't have the next book we're supposed to be reading, etc... The election was a major source of worry. I thought I could turn off my anxiety today, but no such luck.

I don't feel depressed, per se. it is hard to get through the day, though. The weekends are hard when I'm back in St Louis, but the weeks are hard when I'm alone here in Kansas. I stayed here this weekend to get things done, which was probably a good idea, but now I'm feeling even worse after nine days alone. My life is rather impossible as you can see. When I saw Ralph Nader saying we can now see whether Obama is an Uncle Tom or not, I just about lost it. If you see Ralph Nader please punch him for me. That might make me feel a bit better.