Mistakes were made.

As Commander-In-Chief of Bemsha Swing, I accept full and total responsibility for any mistakes that might have been made on my watch. I am deeply sorry that my words were misinterpreted by those with poor reading skills and over-fragile egos.

To those who would exploit these mistakes (if indeed they were mistakes [since two independent investigations have revealed that nothing illegal occurred {though of course even the appearance of impropriety will not be tolerated under my watch}]) in order to play partisan politics, I can only say that now is the time to move forward. The errors in judgment (if in fact they occured), while my complete and utter responsibility (and I accept responsibility for this responsibility), were committed (if they were committed) without my knowledge or consent. Those responsible (though of course I am utlimately responsible) have been dismissed from the staff of Bemsha Swing (if in fact these staffers ever existed).

In sum, I am truly and deeply sorry.