I was trying to write a deliberately bad poem last night when I was about 10 minutes from falling asleep. This is as far as I got:
Robert DeNiro's father was a painter
an abstract expressionist
all his paintings were destroyed in a fire
I was told this on my last trip to New York
An abstract expressionist
my information might not be reliable
I was told this on my last trip to New York
who was it told me?
My information might not be reliable...
I guess that's one idea of bad poetry. A totally "dead" style, flattened out to the extreme, somnolent beyond belief.
I hate to ruin this for you, but your lines aren't as flat as you would believe. The start of a pantoum, a form that seems quite capable of taking the most somnolent of material and making it strange by repetition and the surprise of how the lines take on different maenings as they progress, becomes anything but somnolent. The pantoum is a truly bizarre form. It is baffling in ways because no one I know has ever been able to explain its effects on readers well. Reading a pantoum and hearing one seem so disconnected it is almost like having two different poems. Maybe all poems are that way, but I don't think so. Anyway, going back to your lines, I would venture to guess that what follows will more than likely make or break the poem. But the lines, in and of themselves here, are merely teasing us. Funny how the pantoum seems to like the subject or "knowing" or "understanding" what the hell happened or is happening. Anyway, sorry for interrupting.
ResponderEliminarI don't think it's horrible, but I do feel the flatness here, Jonathan. I'm not sure if it's the form you've chosen, but your description of the poem itself as "dead" seems to make sense. The ideas though are interesting enough--Bobby D's daddy and so forth. The lines, though, are flat. The language is uninspired.
ResponderEliminarIt's hard to write a really bad pantoum, I guess. It does have that "teasing" quality C. Dale noted. I'll try to do worse next time.
ResponderEliminarYes, we want something worse. God damn it, you just have to work harder to be really bad! Get cracking!
ResponderEliminarone of my favorite assignments in lehman's class was to attempt to write a very bad poem. most people's were good. it was fun to fail.
ResponderEliminarLehman knows a lot about writing bad poems. There's always that temptation to sneak in something interesting.
ResponderEliminar