AP. St. Louis MO. World is reconformed in accordance with conventional wisdom.

In a striking development, reality has been reconformed to accord with preconceived ideas about it, according to high-level sources that did not wish to be quoted for this story. Reactions to this event have been mixed. John Smith, St. Louis-based meteorologist, was happy to know that this had happened, although he had always assumed that all his prejudices were in fact correct. Novelist Tom Wolfe also welcomed the event: "There were too many many poets voting for Bush, ordinary people enjoying difficult poetry and painting, and college students not having sex," said Wolfe. "Something had to be done to combat the rash of sober frat boys and people who think my novels are dull repetitive tripe." Jonathan Mayhew, local poet and raconteur, was not so sanguine: "This will stop sales of Harriet Mullen books to construction workers and may even eliminate the existence of Henry Gould, who does not conform to any stereotypes," said Mayhew. Gould himself, ominously enough, could not be reached for comment.