Round 56

[JM wipes sweat from brow]

Yusef: "Sleet" by Alan Shapiro

Bob: "A roof is no guarantee" by Pat Rehm

Another lean vs. fat match-up:

Dad sang for someone to fly him to the moon,
to let him play among the stars, while mom
held the lighter up to another Marlboro (Shapiro)


A roof is no guarantee
that you'll sleep

The unease of premises
pins together the curtains
at night (Rehm)

Shapiro's poem is not bad in painting two interpolated scenes: a family driving together through a sleet storm (ca. 1950?), and a conversation about a family member getting cancer. The cultural stereotypes depress me, the old Buick with children fighting in the back. "A rage of wind and sleet" seems to me a lazy way of writing, a tired metaphor.

Rehm's poem reminds me of Rae Armantrout, in the best possible way. That sharp, aphoristic intelligence--

It's hard to believe
5 sparrows were sold for this

Another one for Bob. After 56:

16-30-9